I hope you’ve had a good day. I can’t believe I haven’t used this particular subject matter, but the transition is so different from my usual path, that the time is now to write about it. So, here we go.
Three years ago, my hair started changing. What used to be a silky mane, would soon turn into the texture of a Brillo pad. How could this possibly happen? Is my health declining? It can’t be the perms since I’ve been getting them for over 20 years. My initial questioning didn’t last long since I thought it would only be a season. I could easily change my conditioner and shampoo, and everything would be okay. But that didn’t happen.
I had a break up around that time, so I had to cut my hair, lol. The sure sign that I was over that relationship. For almost a year my hair was only a few inches, so I couldn’t tell if anything had changed. Once I started to grow it out and used protective styles like crochets, another layer of how unhealthy my hair was came to light. After putting crochets in my hair for a few months I noticed that my hair was breaking off. I would have the usual breakage in the back of my head at the edges, but nothing major. I had color in my hair, so I decided to grow it out and maybe that would fix the problem. As I grew the color and layers out of my hair I thought things would look up.
I soon realized that growing the dye out didn’t help. I tried crochet braids again, but it still broke my hair off. So, all I could do is the “wrap and go,” but sometimes you want to switch it up. A few months later I did a sew-in and didn’t see much breakage. The only thing is, when I wanted to put it in again, my hair was too thin for my liking. I’m a fan of partials so other than a full head of curly hair, I don’t do full sew-ins. I could style my hair to the point that nobody would notice the breakage but, going back and looking at old pictures had solidified to me and others that my hair had completely changed.
My options seemed to be winding down. At this very moment my hair is extremely dry, which it’s never been. It’s breaking off in random places, which it never did. Even when I get perms it burns, which it never did. It’s like my hair and scalp have a personality of its own now! We just aren’t cool anymore. Ughhhh! So, I’ve cut a few inches off and braided it up. I’m growing the perm out, although I don’t want to. I have no desire to be without perms. It’s just easier to maintain. I have no confidence issues, I just don’t want to deal with my hair in its natural state. But I’ve used all other options and now it’s time to make a change.
Have you ever needed to make a change but wanted to hold on to the past? When it comes to hair it might seem shallow, but when it comes to a lifestyle of holding on to the past it can have detrimental consequences. Can you give your problems to God? Of course, you can. Don’t you want to get out of the cycle of nonexistence, because the past is just that. Allowing God to work out your issues today, can turn your future past into great joys of letting go. Just like this perm in my head, let go of the toxic thoughts in your mind, and #FollowGod. Follow his lead and live a healthy, matured, full and abundant life.
Be blessed and always stay sunny on the inside!